Dispelling the Myths

 Criticizing people motivates improvement {people just become defensive and protective of habits you’d like changed}. Old teachings are best {teachings surviving generations won’t necessarily be effective for all, yet alone any; blind faith heightens expectations and disappointments}. We are a result of our parents and can’t change {we may be influenced, but we choose our paths and goals}. Extremes are best {extremes need balancing from opposite extremes, leading to constant conflict}. Arguing is healthy {differences are normal; arguing prevents communication}. Communication, relationships, sex, and parenting are instinctive {people aren’t prepared to teach these, so don’t, leading us to feel inadequate when they don’t come naturally; educate yourself}. Introverts should become more extroverted {they can become more effective introverts, using structure, but can’t become extroverts, avoiding structure}. Jealousy means caring {jealousy means insecurity}. Stick with your own kind {this makes differences more frightening to us, causing wars; appreciate differences}. Whatever is uncomfortable or doesn’t work wasn’t meant to be {your method may be lacking; try new approaches}. Seeking partners excelling in qualities we lack will enhance our abilities (this leads us to feel more dependent and insecure}. Everyone expects the same from marriage {everyone is unique; share expectations up front}. Get married and live happily ever after {planning and nurturing relationships lead to happiness}. My partner will change into my ideal after discovering how wonderful I am {what they lived prior to you will be where they gravitate under stress}. Love conquers all {love clouds reality, complicating seeing and addressing issues}. There is one universal right way for doing everything (i.e. sex) {whatever works for you is what’s right for you; my father insisted I put my finger over the hose when I watered the yard, yet I realized my finger was too small, so accepted the conflict and used my thumb}. The more beautiful my partner, the happier I’ll be {many people, who got early validation for looks, never needed to develop the depth necessary for healthy relationships}. Blue balls {just one of many manipulative lines}. Bigger or more is better {it’s not what you have, but how effectively you use it}.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-877-8378.